Welcoming a Stranger into Our Church Home

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Colossians 4:5

When I first moved to Atlanta, one of the first things I searched for was a church home. I grew up in a Methodist church in Winterville and two of the senior pastors I enjoyed both came from the same large church in Atlanta. Thus, being new to the area, I decided to attend this large church in the heart of Buckhead.

As I entered the front doors of the sanctuary, I felt somewhat anxious. I immediately sat in one of the back pews and just observed. I stayed throughout the service and then left, determined to never enter this church again. Why? No one spoke to me the whole time I was on the church grounds - not any members or ushers - no one!

According to Nelson Searcy in his book Fusion, in the first 7 minutes before a guest hears a sermon, sings a song, or even enters the sanctuary, that guest will make a decision whether to return to the church or not - their subconscious is constantly evaluating how people treat them.

What's more, as researcher Gary McIntosh explains, most churches consider themselves to be friendly. However, if you ask visitors about these same churches, they often report these same church folks as being cold, unwelcoming, and not very friendly. Why the difference? The answer is perception. People who attend a church regularly often experience a friendly atmosphere - they know other people and other people know them. Since they know people in the church, their needs are often met. On the other hand, visitors see things differently when they enter a new church: they may not know people and thus they are not noticed which often means their needs are not met. Hence, a church may think they are friendly, but it is only friendly to the degree in which visitors perceive the church - not its members.

So how does a church first need to change its perception? For one, the church needs to treat a visitor as a guest, not a visitor. In other words, as Searcy indicates, when a new guest enters our church parking lot, we need to treat them like they are staying at the Five Star Ritz Carlton Hotel. And if we treat people like honored guests, not only will they probably return, they will want to bring others.

Or as McIntosh explains, if a stranger comes to your home unexpected and uninvited, you probably will treat them differently than you would a guest you invited to your home. If a visitor arrived unexpectedly, you might invite them in for a brief conversation and a brief snack, but then you would ask them to leave. If an invited guest came to your home, you would probably have cleaned the house, cooked their favorite meal, and then invited them joyfully to return. In other words:

"Visitors are often unwanted; guests are expected. Visitors just show up; guests are invited. Visitors are expected to leave; guests are expected to stay. Visitors come one time; guests return again."

To treat visitors as guests is to show hospitality. Did you know that one of the words the apostle Paul uses for hospitality literally means "love of strangers"? And as God's people, we are supposed to welcome people as Jesus Christ welcomed strangers: with open arms and unconditional love.

In the very opening of our mission statement, it reads as follows: "We are a Christ-centered church which values an open and friendly congregation..."

Beginning on September 12, and from that point on, we will be tested to see if we live up to what we state. How? Before the opening announcements in each service, Mike and I will invite you to greet those around you. Some folks will really like this. Some folks will feel uncomfortable. And some folks will make life-long friends.

The choice is yours: will you treat someone like a visitor or a guest? I know what Jesus would do!

- Rev. Lamar Carney